Stressful wedding planning gets between bride and 25-year-old sister when bride demands significant financial contribution: 'My entire life revolves around her wedding'

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Jan 10, 2025 12:00 PM EST

Wedding planning is a stressful affair… with endless decisions that rely on perfect execution in order to have the perfect day. Each possible choice determines the outcome, and the entire process becomes a delicate balancing act.

It can be easy to get stuck on any one decision as you try to manifest your dream wedding. Meanwhile, others who have agreed to help get caught up in the exhaustive, time-consuming process.

That's what has begun to happen with these two sisters. The younger, 25-year-old sister is helping her sister plan her wedding. She is increasingly finding that the obsessive specificity of her sister's theme is beginning to severely impede her own life… Especially since her sister expects her to help pay for the wedding.

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  • The financial burden that her sister is placing on her, asking her to help pay for different aspects of the wedding to the extent that she has to cancel a long-awaited trip to Italy with her own boyfriend.

    You shouldn't have to endure financial hardship simply to help someone else live out their dream.

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    Cheezburger Image 10452989440
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    "AITA for telling my sister her 'dream wedding' is ruining my life?"

    My (28F) sister, Ashley (25F), is getting married in March, and it's supposed to be this fairytale, Pinterest-board, over-the-top event. I'm talking a literal castle venue, designer everything, and a wedding party that looks like it stepped out of a bridal magazine. I'm her maid of honor, and at first, I was so happy for her. She's my little sister, and I wanted her to have her dream day. But now? It feels like my entire life revolves around her wedding, and I'm losing my mind.
    via __TheEgoist
  • 03
    For starters, Ashley picked this "blush rose" theme, which is apparently code for everything being stupidly expensive. She insisted that we all buy these custom made bridesmaid dresses from a boutique. Mine alone. was $500, and when I told her I couldn't afford it, she offered to "loan me the money." (Translation: she'd hold it over my head forever.) On top of that, there's been the engagement party, the bridal shower, the bachelorette trip to freaking Napa Valley, and all these "little extras"
    via __TheEgoist
  • 04
    I've had to max out my credit card, dip into my savings, and cancel a trip I'd planned with my boyfriend of five years. He's upset because we were going to visit his parents in Italy, but I couldn't afford it anymore. When I told Ashley, she said, "Well, your relationship will still be there after my wedding. This is a once in a lifetime. event for me." Like, what??
    via __TheEgoist
  • 05
    It gets worse. She's demanding I take three days off work to help with last minute wedding prep. I already used up most of my PTO for her other events, so now I'll have to take unpaid leave. When I told her that, she got super teary eyed and said I wasn't being supportive enough. She even called our mom, who guilt tripped me by saying, "It's just money, and family comes first."
    via __TheEgoist
  • 06
    The breaking point came last week when Ashley asked if I'd change my hair color. For context, I have red hair natural, mind you. Ashley said it "clashes" with the aesthetic she's going for and asked me to dye it brown "just for the wedding photos." | laughed because I thought she was joking. She wasn't. When I refused, she started crying and told me I was being selfish and ruining her day.
    via __TheEgoist
  • 07
    I finally snapped and told her that her "dream wedding" is turning into a nightmare for everyone else and that I'm tired of her treating me like am a Instagram perfect life. slave for She called me a jealous, bitter b and said I'm trying to sabotage her happiness. Now, my mom and a few other family members are on her side, saying I'm overreacting and that weddings are stressful.
    via __TheEgoist
  • 08
    My boyfriend says I need to set boundaries, but I feel like if I back out or stand my ground, I'll be the villain. I love my sister, but I'm drowning here. So, Reddit, AITA? Edit: I just want to thank everyone who's supported me and helped me realize I'm not the a h le here. Your comments really helped me see that I deserve to set boundaries and take care of myself. I'm going to talk to my sister and let her know where I stand, and I'll be taking steps to fix my situation financially. I can't ke
    via __TheEgoist
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    Cheezburger Image 10452989696
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • There's a point where helping someone out simply goes too far, and that is certainly the case in this post.

    Commenters overwhelmingly and unanimously sided with the younger sister, who was helping her older sister plan the wedding. Some even say that the sister was partially to blame for being such a doormat and letting her family walk all over her to the detriment of her own romantic relationship.

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    Readers sided with the younger sister and original poster of this thread

    Ok-Control-787 8h ago ⋅ She even called our mom, who guilt-tripped me by saying, "It's just money, and family comes first." Cool, so your mom is paying for all your expenses because it's just money, and your family, right? No? Must be a brainless a h le, then. NTA but I understand why your bf isn't happy with your caving into all this nonsense so far.
    via __TheEgoist
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    BlueGreen 1956 8h ago • NTA "This is a once-in-a-lifetime event for me." The chance of it being a once in a lifetime event is about 45% now. "I've had to max out my credit card, dip into my savings, and cancel a trip I'd planned with my boyfriend of five years." You could have just said "NO." If your BF doesn't go visit his parents without you, he's a fool.
    via __TheEgoist
  • 12
    "When I told her that, she got super teary-eyed." Does the groom realize that he is going to be dealing with this princess weaponizing her tears to get what she wants for the rest of his life? "My boyfriend says I need to set boundaries, but I feel like if I back out or stand my ground, I'll be the villain." Listen to your boyfriend. As for you being the villain, who gives a sh?
    via __TheEgoist
  • 13
    I came very close to calling YOU the a hle for being such a doormat. Let me repeat. If your BF doesn't go see his parents without you, he is a fool.
    via __TheEgoist
  • 14
    mdthomas • 8h ago . Your sister s ks for expecting everyone to spend this much money. You s k for going along with it so far as to max out your card and dip into savings. At some pint you should have said "I'm sorry, but this is beyond my budget. I will not be able to participate". ESH
    via __TheEgoist
  • 15
    Chaoticgood790 • 7h ago YTA for maxing out a credit card for a wedding. Cancelling trip with your bf to see his parents. You know how dumb you sound? Learn the word no. Its not hard but you're letting it happen.
    via __TheEgoist
  • 16
    Expensive Flight4799 YTA • 7h ago you are ALLOWING these 'family' members and you 'sister' to walk all over you. Are you freaking kidding right now?!! You used your SAVINGS??!!! Dude, good luck getting your 'sis' and 'family' to help you out when you need those savings for an emergency. Because I bet they will tell you, you should have planned better or been better with you money, or some other bs.
    via __TheEgoist
  • 17
    And if I haven't been clear, let me spell it out; BACK OUT. RETURN WHAT YOU CAN AND GET SOME OF THAT $$ BACK. Cut off whoever has an issue with this and your parents need a reality check if they are ok with having you go into debt because their golden child is having a fit.
    via __TheEgoist
  • 18
    Significant-Bobcat48 8h ago • NTA. You need to stand your ground. Also, why are you paying for ur sisters wedding to the point you can't afford your own personal expenses? This is totally unreasonable and you're NTA for refusing
    via __TheEgoist

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family drama bride wedding party wedding drama bridesmaids Crazy Brides sisters siblings wedding dresses family bridezilla weddings
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